


I think I'm A Clone Now

by IntotheStarkerVerse (IntotheStarkerverse)



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Starker Bingo, Starker Week, TW: Puking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 15:20:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19890004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntotheStarkerverse/pseuds/IntotheStarkerVerse
Summary: For Starker Week Day Six’s prompt, Family Ties and Starker Bingo's prompt, Kid!fic.Peter finds something unexpected at the lair of his newest villain and finds himself embarking on a new adventure with his husband.





	I think I'm A Clone Now

“Karen, could you get Tony on the line, please?”

“Of course, Peter.”

Silence and then…

“Pete?”

“Hey, Tony, ummm…could you…would you mind…tracing my location and getting here like…as fast as you can?”

“Peter, baby, are you hurt?” Something in the tone of that question and Tony’s choice of words made Peter laugh.

“Don’t pretend that you’re not looking at a readout of my vitals right now,Tony. You know I’m fine. I just…I really need you right now. I have a problem and…I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, hold tight.”

Okay, good. Help was on the way. But he was still alone with… Oh boy.

Peter stood in the middle of the lab staring at the cause of all of his consternation. “Um..hey…”

He was rewarded with a succession of high pitched wails. 

“Oh! Oh, geez, oh don’t cry…” Peter stepped closer, jumping back again when the wail became a scream of terror. “Oh! Oh, shoot, the mask. I bet that’s really scary, huh? I’m sorry.” He ripped it off, “See, look. Just a guy under there. Just a boring guy.”

The baby stopped screaming, but it kept up a high pitched whimper as it stared with watery eyes and quivering lips at the superhero who seemed incredibly out of his element. Peter edged forward slowly, reaching out with a hand as if he was trying to pet a stray dog and not comfort a terrified child. “C’mon, little guy, I just want to help you. What are you doing here? Did Jackal kidnap you or something? I promise I’ll find your mommy and daddy for you, okay? Everything…everything will be fine.”

The baby didn’t wail or scream as Peter slowly reached out and awkward scooped him up. “You’re really cute, you know that?” He tweaked one of the baby’s chubby cheeks and gently tried to brush away the tears that had fallen from his honey brown eyes. The little boy was mostly bald save for a few wispy curls that stuck up haphazardly from his soft head. Peter snuggled the baby closer, pleased with the way he curled a little fist against Peter’s chest and rested his head on Peter’s shoulder. Peter couldn’t help but brush his lips over the baby’s head in a little kiss and inhale deeply. “Oh, you smell good. I guess…I guess babies really do have a smell, huh?” He hummed softly, bouncing the baby a little in his arms and swaying from side to side. “S’Okay, everything’s okay.”

“Peter!”

Spider-Man let out a soft curse. “Shhh! I just got him to sleep.” 

“What? Him? Him who…Oh my God.” The Iron Man suit froze in the doorway at the sight that greeted him. All of the scenarios he’d been running through in his head, finding his husband with a strange baby was the last thing he was expecting to see. “Pete…”

“Take off the suit, if he wakes up you’re going to scare the poo out of him.”

As the suit melted back into its containment unit, Tony crossed the distance between himself and his husband in a few quick strides. “What on earth…”

“I found him. He was just…he was just here in the lab and no one was watching him or anything. It didn’t seem safe.”

“Why does the Jackal have a baby?”

“I don’t know. But I don’t know anything about babies, Tony. Like less than nothing, and you have a daughter so…” Peter gestured at the baby. “Do a dad thing.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “Having a daughter does not make me a baby whisperer. Besides, you seem to be doing fine on your own.”

Peter glanced down at the baby again, gagging a little at the pool of drool gathering on the shoulder of his Spider-Man suit. “Well…be of some use, okay? Find out who he is and where his parents are or something.”

Tony rolled his eyes for a second time, but turned to the computers and began booting them up one at a time. “Well, it’s a cinch that the kid doesn’t belong to Jackal.”

“Why do you say that?” Peter asked, jostling the baby slightly in his effort to stop the drool from dripping down his chest. The movement woke the baby who let out an angry wail.

“What did you do?” Tony’s tone was accusatory.

“He was drooling on me…”

“He’s a baby, Peter, that’s literally all they do. You know what, you’re not doing okay. Give him here.” Tony took the baby, cooing to him softly as he studied the kid more carefully. “Looks familiar…”

“All babies look alike, how can you tell?”

“All babies do NOT look alike.”

“Whatever.” Peter began searching the tables for a tissue or a stray cloth he could use to dab away the drool from his shoulder. “Uh…Tony…” Peter was holding a few pieces of paper in his hands, a heavy frown forming on his face. “Is this…” He held out the schematics. “It looks kind of…”

Tony looked up from the baby long enough to squint at the papers. “Medical device. Looks almost like cryogenics chamber but not quite…” He gasped and looked down at the baby in his arms again. “More like an artificial womb…”

“So it is Jackal’s baby, then?”

“I don’t think so…” Tony shifted the baby to his hip and turned to the computers. Even with one hand, the genius was able to cut through all of the Jackal’s security and open the desktop to look at his work. “Well…I know why the baby looks so familiar.”

“Why?” Peter was at work furiously trying to scrub away the drying drool with a wadded up piece of paper.

“He’s you.”

“What?” Peter dropped the paper, staring at Tony with wide, confused eyes. “How can he be me? I’m me and I’m not a baby…am I?”

“No, but it looks like Jackal was obsessed with cloning you…first one didn’t work out the way he wanted. This one. This one worked.”

Peter blinked at the baby, trying to call up mental images of his own baby pictures. “Why does Jackal want to clone baby me?”

“He doesn’t want a baby you. It would appear that he’s testing methods for advanced aging, memory transferal. He’s trying to clone you, and he’s not too far off from succeeding…”

“That’s freaky.”

“Yeah…and against a whole slew of international laws, not that he probably cares cause…supervillain. Clearly we can’t leave the kid here, and we’re going to have to destroy this lab. Find him. Stop him. I doubt his plans for you were good if he was making a replacement for you…” Tony turned his attention back to the baby. “And I thought you were an adorable adult…”

Peter blushed and felt incredibly stupid for doing that. “Okay, destroy the lab. What do we do with the baby…”

Tony shrugged. “Take him home until we can figure out what to do with him, I guess…”

~ ~ ~

“Happy said he’ll be here with diapers in…” Tony’s voice trailed off as he entered the bathroom and stared in horror at what greeted him.

Peter, on the other hand, looked incredibly proud. He was holding the baby who, in lieu of a diaper, was now wearing a sponge and a dish towel held in place by a terry-cloth work-out headband. 

“Peter…”

“I improvised!”

“I can see that.”

“I think he likes it.”

“I think he feels sorry for you and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, Pete. I just hope Happy gets here before the kid needs to use that monstrosity.”

He didn’t.

~ ~ ~

“Tony!”

Peter’s frantic screams brought Tony to the kitchen in a complete panic. 

“Tony, help me!” Peter was on the ceiling, crouched and turning green as the baby seated in a pile of cushions on a chair near the breakfast nook projectile vomited.

“I think he’s possessed, Tony.”

“I think you gave him more than the bottle I told you to, didn’t you?”

“He was hungry! And he’s me and I hate to be hungry and my metabolism is really fast and so he probably needs to eat more like me and so I got him another bottle…”

“And you over fed him. This is what happens when you overfeed a baby, Peter.”

“Make it stop!”

~ ~ ~

The bedroom was incredibly quiet. Too quiet. Tony was actually worried that one or both Peters were dead. It was the only thing he could think of that would account for that level of quiet. He probably shouldn’t have left Peter alone with the baby again, but Fury had a lot of questions about the baby and Tony knew Peter was probably anxious to get him off to a foster family as fast as possible. He’d never seen anything quite as hopeless as his husband and his clone.

The sight that greeted him was one of the most heartwarming he’d ever seen. Peter and his clone were fast asleep, the baby fast asleep on Peter’s chest. Maybe they were growing on each other…

~ ~ ~

“Peter, what did you order from Amazon Prime, now?” Tony came into the living room carrying a box which he deposited in the floor next to his husband where the younger man was playing with a giggling baby and an iron man plushie.

“I found a onesie that Ben needs to have.”

“Ben?”

“Yeah, we can’t call him ‘the clone’ and Peter’s already taken. So Ben. Feels right, huh, Ben?”

The baby let out a long string of nonsense and deposited the iron man plushie’s arm in his mouth.

Tony raised an eyebrow but nodded towards the box. “Well, let’s see it.”

Peter grinned and ripped into the tape, shaking the red and blue onesie out and flipping it around to show him the ‘Spider-Baby’ written on the front.

Tony snorted. “I should have known.”

“Well, he is a Spider-Baby.”

“You better hope not. The second he starts crawling up the wall…”

“Don’t mind him, Ben, he’s just jealous that we can climb the walls and we can’t…”

~ ~ ~

“Nick Fury is NOT taking our baby.”

Tony stopped dead. “What?”

“Ben is staying here with us. I’m not letting S.H.I.E.L.D. take our baby. Who knows me better than me?”

“Me.”

“Exactly my point! We need to be his dads. We were talking about adopting, right? Well Ben needs a family and we can be his family and I am not letting anyone take my baby. I know he was scary at first, but I’m getting the hang of it and you’re a pro and we can do this! Besides, Morgan would be such an awesome big sister! Please, Tony, can we keep him?”

“He’s not a dog, Peter. This is a child…”

“This is OUR child.”

Tony snorted, “Yeah, okay, this is OUR child…but you’re not spoiling him, Peter.”

“What?” Peter looked up from his phone.

“Did you just order something else from Amazon Prime?”

“Just a few toys…and clothes…and maybe a changing table…”

“Peter!”

“Do you want to learn how to climb ceilings, Benny? We might need to make a quick escape from Papa…”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry, I have not forgotten 'Time of Our Lives' and am hard at work on the final installment. I am just taking a little time off to partake in the prompts for Starker Week!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: @intothestarkerverse


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